Wow. Only Day Two and I'm already almost crumbling? Pathetic.
I keep thinking about those old Volkswagen commercials where the guy works all these weird, odd jobs to earn enough money to buy his Jetta. I think about those and I wonder what it's like to have drive. I wish I had it. I wish it didn't take me over a year to write a book or a journey through the mental olympics just to make decisions. I wish I could just say I want something and obtain it.
I think I find it all so depressing because I used to be that way. I wanted my favorite ice cream flavor to mirror that of a celebrity I loved so I convinced myself that the flavor I once loved was no longer my favorite. When there was a shirt at a store far away, I'd convince my parents to take me there so I could get it. When I found something I wanted, I was easily able to talk my way into achieving it.
I think I got too comfortable. I think it's easy to fall into the "Oh I was going to do that, but..." Darn those 'But...'s. They're bad news and they're bringing me down. I don't have a lot of time to accomplish things anymore, so if I want to do all these things I won't shut up about, it's time I get some drive back. It's time to kick it in to high gear. (Why so many car metaphors?)
Perhaps because of where you work..?
ReplyDeleteAnd I was just writing (in a notebook) my next blog entry and it's along the same lines as this! I feel so bleh lately. I want adventure and risk!