BEDA

It's April. I'm bored. All reasoning leads to me doing BEDA, right? Right. Okay.

I've known for some time that I suffer from illusions of grandeur. I have theories that it stems from my childhood with Peter Pan. It was natural and common when I was younger: the singing group I formed called Epic, the tryouts for Star Search and Radio Disney, the YouTube show. I've recently noticed though that I never really put all that much effort into it. Ever. I mean yes, when I was forming Epic, I memorized all the dances to the new Cheetah Girls movie. And when I was auditioning for Radio Disney I practiced the songs over and over. But I never really tried.

Thomas Edison once said, "If we all did the things we were capable of we would literally astound ourselves." There is a thing I really want right now. With all of my being I want this one thing. It's one of those wishes that you're afraid to tell anyone for fear of it not coming true. It's both out of my control and entirely within it in so many different ways. It's killing me that it's not entirely up to me.

Anyway, with this thing, I want to try. I want to do the things I'm capable of. I'm beginning to wonder if I've ever really tried my hardest at anything, and if not, what will happen if I do so now.

So we're going to see.