Busybee / last BEDA

For reasons beyond my understanding, my outlook on my current situation has changed. Maybe it was the glimpse at the fall schedule my boss allowed me yesterday, or my finishing Bossypants last night, or possibly the call from my other boss this morning, nevertheless I'm actually really inspired by my CRAMMED PACKED schedule.

I had an actual sit down think-out about my life when I realized how much I love being busy. I love being pressed for time and having a full agenda. Naturally I feel a day has been more successful if it has been jammed packed than if I've only done a few things.

I can't actually remember what it's like to not have something to do every single day. I don't entirely remember what it's like to be bored and really can't recall the last time I went the entire day in pajamas and didn't spend the time vomiting into a metal pan.

All this to be said, I'm actually getting a bit excited about my 50-60 hour work weeks that await me after our trip. Life moves faster that way, and as they say: no free time means no time to spend all the money I'm making. So to Life I say: Bring it on.

Time

Such a simple word. Such a simple concept, and yet it is something that seems to be rapidly slipping from my grip. I have a laundry list of things that need to be done (including laundry, ironically), but I seem to have so little time in which to do them. Working seven days a week really takes it's toll, and getting a social life in there means kissing goodbye to any order and control in my life. Things are piling up what with our trip around the corner, so everything that was on the back burner of life is now pushing itself to the forefront of my mind and I'm beginning to go mad.

Being as I also find myself carless, my agenda is literally not my own which makes trying to sort it all out even more complicated. I have to coordinate getting rides to and from places, borrowing other peoples' cars, staying home a whole lot more. I have to depend on people and that's not something I am accustomed to nor do I really want to grow accustomed to it. I'm used to helping people out. I'm good at being dependable. I am not good at being a burden. I can't stand it. I don't like feeling indebted to someone.

My original plan upon returning from the trip was to start saving for Australia and just forget about buying a new car. I'm not considering pushing the move out a month and buying a "decent" car (I can get one for about a month's wages.) Ugh I just cannot live like this anymore.

Photoshoot

Went on a photoshoot scour thing with Sharaya, Ryan, Mitchell, and Allison today around Seattle. Here's a taste of what came of it:

Books

I'm currently writing this book (and by 'currently' I mean for the past year now) and frankly I'm in love. I love writing. I get this sensation after I plot out characters that they aren't made up anymore. What I'm writing isn't fiction and it makes it a lot harder for me to omit things or change things around. I named the main character of this current book Adelaide, and whilst I'm not in love with it, I can't change it because she IS Adelaide now. I can't change a coworkers name because I don't like it anymore. That's not the way this works.

I don't know if this makes me a mental patient or a perfectionist or what, but I find myself rereading old material and saying, "Isaac doesn't talk like that!" and "Addie would never think that." Actors talk about their love of acting stemming from the fact that they get to disappear into someone else's world and someone else's mind. That's how I feel when I write. I stop concerning myself with the immediate and get lost in the fictional world I've created. (And I want to do this forever.)

I can only hope the mass public feels the same way about Addie and Isaac when the time comes.

My Obsessions

I am an obsessive person. For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with something. Being in a current state of nostalgia and hobbylessness, I figure I might as well chronicle them.

1. Jump5
The most infamous of all my obsessions. From April 14th 2003 - 2007 I was in love. I knew everything about the five (then four, then five, then four) members. Everything. I got my hair cut like them, I bought clothes that looked like theirs - and yes I realize how creepy this makes me sound. Wowza. Still, being as this was during my formative years a lot of what I saw them doing/saying impressed itself into my brain and I hold Brittany Hargest and Lesley Moore fully responsible for my love of fashion.

2. ...Twilight
I hate to say it. I really hate it, but it's true. I was introduced to the series by an over the top fan which naturally only increased my infatuation. I would also like to note that this was strictly a love of the books, as it was during the summer that they were filming the first movie, so it was completely unadulterated. We even went to the midnight book release for Breaking Dawn. Wow. Memories.

3. Pop Culture
Possibly my biggest regret. There is no reason to know that much about anybody I don't actually know. The obsession was instantly destroyed upon hearing the following words from my sister's father-in-law: "they do not care when I go to Starbucks, so why on Earth should I care when they do?"

4. Harry Potter
This has has been a very slow start. At first I was like, "Oh, I guess I'll go see the movie..." when my friend needed a compadre. Surprisingly I liked it so much I bought it. Then, awhile later whilst bored at work one day I decided to start reading the books. I have not reached my Twilight / Jump5 craze yet at all, thank goodness. My obsessions seem to be less intense each time a new one strikes.

Since HP is over, though...I think the fashion bug is biting. I'm really starting to get excited about bags and shirts and shoes. And preparing my outfits for this upcoming trip is really making me insane. I'm up all hours of the night scoping out new outfits. I have filled wishlists on several websites, and an open polyvore account.  It's definitely safe to say an obsession is forming...

Things That Irritate Me

    I'm sitting here in my brand new The Mighty Thor tank top with my brand new union jack heart ring on my finger. Today has been a great day - materialistically, anyway. Nevertheless, aside from working and shopping today has been less than thrilling (as always) so I thought I'd construct a list of things that drive me insane. Here they lie:

1. People who take offense to things regarding people with  special needs, especially when it comes to the movie The Ringer and the word 'retard'. That word means something beyond the handicap realm, and people need to remember this. Also, I can't stand when someone causes a stir because their second cousin's best friend's lab partner's boss's nephew's neighbor has ADHD. This does not make you credible. At all.

2. Interrupting. People who interrupt should be shunned by society. It's just rude.

3. Being rude to animals. I don't mean the basic animal cruelty, but actual dog owners who scream at their dogs and shove them and kick them and stuff. I once saw some of my sister's friends call the family dog into the house just to slam the door in his side when he entered. I have never detested the being of a person more than when I saw that go down.

4. Not being allowed to not smile. I may be having a generally crappy day - my dog may have just died, or, you know, there may be so much going on in my life that constantly remembering to smile might be pretty low down on my priority list. So stop yelling at me about it. On the same note: the ever-expectant exchanging of pleasantries. They are generally pointless and shallow. No one who genuinely cares about your life is going to ask "what's up?!" or "hows it going?!"

5. Hitting every green light. It hikes my paranoia sky high and I'm convinced I'm going to get hit as I blast through each intersection.

6. People who get offended. By anything. Get over yourself and stop being so sensitive. It was not written in the constitution that everyone must be nice to you. Some people won't. Get over it.

7. Using swear words to amplify your sentiments. Your vocabulary is really that limited?

8. People who are glorified for doing mediocre things. Especially when this praise and glory goes to their heads and causes them to think that what they're doing is exceptional. My biggest bothers in this regard are when it comes to literary prowess and 'solo travel'. (It is not considered 'traveling on your own' if you're meeting someone at your destination. Getting yourself to an airport is not profound nor is it brave.)

9. Patriotism. I totally get having national pride and all that, but patriotism has become a vulgar word in my vocabulary as Americans seem to have taken it too far. We do not need to exonerate ourselves for simple acts. We are in so many respects not, in fact, number 1. We're just making ourselves look foolish by painting our faces red, white, and blue and screaming it at foreigners. (Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how many countries have those three colors? Loads of them! France, UK, Australia, New Zealand, etc. etc.)

...I tried to do more, but I can't think of any. I guess that's a good thing? Sorry if one of your annoyances is People Who Don't Finish Lists. Oh well.

I keep trying to write a fun post about how I got a Kindle, or how there are only 18 more days until our vacation, or even about the hilarious CPR Training class I took this morning, but all I can think about is how MINDBLOWINGLY PAINFUL my seven hour-long stomach ache is/has been. I can barely breathe without sharp shooting pain, I can't walk that far, and I just want to lay in the fetal position until I lull myself to sleep.

Oh, did I mention I'm at work?
Yeeaahhh....