One of my other goals for 2012 is to watch more new movies. 200, to be exact. I'm sure that sounds ridiculous and almost shallow, but I've gotten into a bit of a rom-com / superhero movie rut and I'm desperate to get out. Also, somehow movies have wound themselves into 'culture' and I'd like to be more culturally diverse.
This all the be said, I'm watching The September Issue. It's been on my list for a long time now, and I've finally buckled down.
I've often heard said that we're all under the delusion that what we're doing with our lives is of any significance at all. When I watch The September Issue, I can't see a more self involved industry. This is hard for me because I love fashion. I only just finished painting my nails a nice emerald green, and I'm in love with my cape and boots I got last week. I love coordinating outfits and I love the way a dress or pair of shoes can transform the way you feel about yourself and the world around you. Dressing up is a magical experience.
But it's not important. The time and concentration with which these people wrap their lives around clothes is a bit preposterous. I'm not going to pull the 'there are dying children in Africa' card because frankly we don't even need to go that far. Just...let's get some perspective. No one remembers what was in the 2010 September issue. No one remembers the 2011 issue at that. It's an industry bent on constant changes, and there seems to be a common belief that without them, the world wouldn't remember to put clothes on.
It's just like, go outside, you know? Get out of your New York-Paris-London-Rome bubble and go learn something. Make a substantial difference somewhere.
I just don't get the fashion industry anymore.
Monday, January 2
Sunday, January 1
Tradition
1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
- travelled to a country of whom's official language I do not speak, saw an international film festival, went to an out-of-country Disney theme park, flew to Disneyland and back in a single day, went on a road trip with more than five people, put more than one unnatural color in my hair, invaded a film set, got hit on more than thrice in a single day, worked more than sixty five hours in a single week, held a job with a relative, stayed in a hotel with shared bathrooms, tried an omelette, vodka, and tequila, flew first class, wrote a novel, got on the BBC, gone on a roller coaster with a 360 degree turn, tried gelato, ate chocolate cake for dinner.
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I didn't make any last year. This year I want to run 365 miles, and read 52 books.
3. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
- A published book. Maybe a tattoo and a date wouldn't hurt either.
4. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- May 22nd: the day I did nothing.
- May 23rd: the day I met one of my closest friends in the flesh. & landed on the BBC. & walked onto a film set.
- Dec 13th: the day I defied societal standards and went to Disneyland for the day.
5. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder?
- I always get sad around this time of year so I don't think this would be a fair judgement.
richer or poorer?
- richer
6. What was your favorite TV program?
- new girl, how I met your mother, big bang theory, the office, parks and rec.
7. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- mumford and sons, harry & alfie, florence and the machine. I feel like there’s more…
8. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
- harry potter & the deathly hallows pt 2, thor and wild target. wild target didn’t come out this year but I saw it this year and fell in love.
9. What books did you read in 2011 that you'd never read before?
- peter pan, alice in wonderland, chronicles of narnia: the magicians nephew, con: the horse and his boy, con: voyage of the dawn treader, hp: philosophers stone, chamber of secrets, prisoner of azkaban, goblet of fire, order of the phoenix, half blood prince, deathly hallows, bossypants, 1984, the beautiful and damned, my booky wook 2, a christmas carol. I think that's all. I can't remember anything before June.
10. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
- grandmother meets twelve year old boy.
11. Who was the best new person you befriended?
- brooke which is adorable considering we’ve been working together for almost three years.
- travelled to a country of whom's official language I do not speak, saw an international film festival, went to an out-of-country Disney theme park, flew to Disneyland and back in a single day, went on a road trip with more than five people, put more than one unnatural color in my hair, invaded a film set, got hit on more than thrice in a single day, worked more than sixty five hours in a single week, held a job with a relative, stayed in a hotel with shared bathrooms, tried an omelette, vodka, and tequila, flew first class, wrote a novel, got on the BBC, gone on a roller coaster with a 360 degree turn, tried gelato, ate chocolate cake for dinner.
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I didn't make any last year. This year I want to run 365 miles, and read 52 books.
3. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
- A published book. Maybe a tattoo and a date wouldn't hurt either.
4. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- May 22nd: the day I did nothing.
- May 23rd: the day I met one of my closest friends in the flesh. & landed on the BBC. & walked onto a film set.
- Dec 13th: the day I defied societal standards and went to Disneyland for the day.
5. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder?
- I always get sad around this time of year so I don't think this would be a fair judgement.
richer or poorer?
- richer
6. What was your favorite TV program?
- new girl, how I met your mother, big bang theory, the office, parks and rec.
7. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- mumford and sons, harry & alfie, florence and the machine. I feel like there’s more…
8. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
- harry potter & the deathly hallows pt 2, thor and wild target. wild target didn’t come out this year but I saw it this year and fell in love.
9. What books did you read in 2011 that you'd never read before?
- peter pan, alice in wonderland, chronicles of narnia: the magicians nephew, con: the horse and his boy, con: voyage of the dawn treader, hp: philosophers stone, chamber of secrets, prisoner of azkaban, goblet of fire, order of the phoenix, half blood prince, deathly hallows, bossypants, 1984, the beautiful and damned, my booky wook 2, a christmas carol. I think that's all. I can't remember anything before June.
10. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
- grandmother meets twelve year old boy.
11. Who was the best new person you befriended?
- brooke which is adorable considering we’ve been working together for almost three years.
Friday, December 23
Vagabond
I feel like a corporate rouge. It's getting to the point where I just want to go. I don't care where, I don't care about sleeping arrangements. I just want to go. The problem is, each new trip doesn't quench my thirst for more. It only feeds the flame.
Thursday, December 22
Perception
It struck me yesterday as I was waiting in line at Taco Time that maybe our reality isn't actually real. I just had a sudden terrified thought that maybe a $20 wouldn't suffice an $8 ticket, but that it is merely what we've been taught to believe. And why are the numbers like that? What if E came before C? What if it does and we're all wrong?
What if my reality is different from the boy's who sat next to me on the plane. Obviously, our immediate realities - him living in Miami, and me in Seattle - are different. But what if it's entirely different? What if I'm the only person who experiences airplanes the way I do? What if what I think happens when I'm driving isn't actually what other people perceive. The bubbles in carbonated soda - maybe the sensation it gives my tongue is a complete fabrication a la my mind? The mind is a powerful thing, you know.
When we get itches, what's really happening is a defensive mechanism. Our senses pick up a microscopic (and sometimes not so microscopic) foreign object brushing up against our skin. That sends a signal to our brain which tells us we need to scratch. Not because 'we're itchy' but because we need to ward off the epidermis invasion. It's actually pain; scratching is. The brain categorizes it as minor pain that distracts us from the fact that something is touching us that shouldn't be.
Have you ever tried to not scratch an itch? To deliberately not scratch it? The urge seems to intensify to me. And that is all completely in my head.
What if my reality is different from the boy's who sat next to me on the plane. Obviously, our immediate realities - him living in Miami, and me in Seattle - are different. But what if it's entirely different? What if I'm the only person who experiences airplanes the way I do? What if what I think happens when I'm driving isn't actually what other people perceive. The bubbles in carbonated soda - maybe the sensation it gives my tongue is a complete fabrication a la my mind? The mind is a powerful thing, you know.
When we get itches, what's really happening is a defensive mechanism. Our senses pick up a microscopic (and sometimes not so microscopic) foreign object brushing up against our skin. That sends a signal to our brain which tells us we need to scratch. Not because 'we're itchy' but because we need to ward off the epidermis invasion. It's actually pain; scratching is. The brain categorizes it as minor pain that distracts us from the fact that something is touching us that shouldn't be.
Have you ever tried to not scratch an itch? To deliberately not scratch it? The urge seems to intensify to me. And that is all completely in my head.
Saturday, December 10
Potential Opener for Hide & Seek
“He’s dead.”
“No he’s not.”
“Adelaide – he’s gone.”
That’s not right. He wouldn’t do something like that. He’s too full of himself and – well frankly I don’t think he has the audacity. But no, I don’t even need to think about that because he didn’t do it. I’m hearing his voice right now, so he can’t be dead. He’s on the television for goodness sake.
Well, I guess that’s not him on the television. It’s a picture of him. I can’t really hear what their saying, but it can’t be “he’s dead”. People are cheering, but people always cheer when he’s around. The people love him. Although, after the last few months I’ve had, I’m not entirely sure why.
Okay, here we go. They’re showing more than just his face. It’s just a pile of rubble, though. I don’t understand the correlation. Isaac apparently senses my confusion. Or it’s just written all over my face like usual.
“It’s the Berghof, Addie.”
“No it’s not.”
That’s not my house that’s been bombed. Sorry, that’s not my father’s house that’s been bombed. But then I guess if he’s dead it is mine. Nevertheless, that’s not ours. Our house is not being set on fire by our enemies. His enemies. This is so confusing.
“Are you alright?” Isaac looks concerned. And weary. I haven’t seen him in almost three months and he really looks terrible. His cheeks are sunken and his arms and face are covered in bruises and welts. Though, I can’t imagine I look much better.
“No, I…?”
“It’s over, Addie. Everything is over. We’ve been liberated. Your dad killed himself because he knew they were coming after him. The Americans bombed your house and the French have now set it on fire.”
I look back at the screen. My bedroom is nonexistent. Grandmother’s living quarters are now ablaze. There’s nothing left.
“So that’s it, then. It’s over.”
Friday, December 9
Freedom
I envy those with freedom. Those who can’t decide between sitting at Starbucks all day or sitting in their room. Those who – even for just one day a week – wake up at their leisure, have breakfast for lunch, draw, make music, read stories and then write better ones. Those who plan to go to the store today but then, don’t, because they have all day tomorrow too. Those who have time to prepare and eat all three meals in a single day; those who have the ability to utilize banks on Saturdays – or any days, for that matter.
I don’t think people appreciate freedom like that as much as they should. I don’t think students –especially those with the freedom to create their own schedules – understand what they have. And adults who work five days a week: drink it in. You have two full days to do whatever you want. Sure, the bathroom needs cleaning, but you could do that on Sunday.
On May 21st of this year I was in London, but you wouldn’t have known it. I stayed in my hotel room the entire day and I regret nothing. I didn’t set an alarm, I didn’t change out of my pajamas – no wait, I did. I put on jeans to go down to the hotel lobby for a panini from Costa Coffee. Mmm it was delicious. QI & Mock the Week marathons were on consecutively so I was absolutely satisfied staying in bed all day.
So in February when I’m in London again I’m most looking forward to doing nothing. I don’t know if you’re grasping this: I will be transitioning from working 60+ hour weeks to 0. There is no job for me there, and I’ll be there for long enough to probably miss one. Just…all I want to do is sit at Hyde Park and write stories. That’s all I want to do with my life. I can’t wait to begin it.
Tuesday, December 6
Airplanes in the Night Sky
Didn't get around to posting anything yesterday. Sue me.
I just bought my plane ticket to Disneyland next Tuesday. For three years I've been wanting to see the park during the holidays. I've been there for Spring, Summer, and Fall (all in the past year and a half, actually) but never for Christmas and I stumbled upon a great bargain the other day.
I am terrified of airplanes. You'd never know it, of course, because really you can't allow something like that to get in your way. But every time I get dropped off at the airport it hits me full in the face. Every time I get on an airplane I feel like I won't ever be getting off. And trust me - I've had a few experiences that have given me good reason to feel that way.
The first time I ever went anywhere by myself was to Disneyland for a day last March. It was the first time I had rented a car by myself, the first time I was even at an airport by myself. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever endured. The rental company picked me up crazy late, the car was all wrong, I got lost on the freeway, I called Dad for directions but we couldn't really gather where I was, the rental car engine light came on, they almost didn't let me into the hotel because it's under my parents' names, AND THEN the car company barely got me back to the airport in time to make my flight.
So you can see then why my trips make me so ansy. Being as I'm not checking into a hotel, I've got Disney as a transportation vehicle, and I will only have a small bag with me, I'm not too worried. I'm quite excited, actually. People always ask if going to a theme park alone is weird. Frankly once you get used to going to the movies, to the mall, to the airport, to foreign countries, and international film festivals alone, a theme park is nothing. There gets to be a point where company begins to feel a bit intrusive - but that's a topic for another time.
Suffice it to say, I'm going to be wired or the next 150 hours.
I just bought my plane ticket to Disneyland next Tuesday. For three years I've been wanting to see the park during the holidays. I've been there for Spring, Summer, and Fall (all in the past year and a half, actually) but never for Christmas and I stumbled upon a great bargain the other day.
I am terrified of airplanes. You'd never know it, of course, because really you can't allow something like that to get in your way. But every time I get dropped off at the airport it hits me full in the face. Every time I get on an airplane I feel like I won't ever be getting off. And trust me - I've had a few experiences that have given me good reason to feel that way.
The first time I ever went anywhere by myself was to Disneyland for a day last March. It was the first time I had rented a car by myself, the first time I was even at an airport by myself. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever endured. The rental company picked me up crazy late, the car was all wrong, I got lost on the freeway, I called Dad for directions but we couldn't really gather where I was, the rental car engine light came on, they almost didn't let me into the hotel because it's under my parents' names, AND THEN the car company barely got me back to the airport in time to make my flight.
So you can see then why my trips make me so ansy. Being as I'm not checking into a hotel, I've got Disney as a transportation vehicle, and I will only have a small bag with me, I'm not too worried. I'm quite excited, actually. People always ask if going to a theme park alone is weird. Frankly once you get used to going to the movies, to the mall, to the airport, to foreign countries, and international film festivals alone, a theme park is nothing. There gets to be a point where company begins to feel a bit intrusive - but that's a topic for another time.
Suffice it to say, I'm going to be wired or the next 150 hours.
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