I've really been struggling lately with living my life by certain terms. There are people I work with who continiously tell me they live vicariously through me whenever I travel. Whenever I see them their faces light up when they ask "Where are you going next?" They tell me they wish they had lived this way when they were my age. My peers praise me for my courage and bravery, and it's my parents' bragging right.
But I don't like travelling by myself. I hate it, actually. My dad can attest to the fact that whenever he drops me off at the airport, I'm incospiciously begging him to let me off the hook. And while I've been preached to numerous times recently by the aforementioned people about how I should live my life the way I want and not worry about what other people think about it, I never believed any of them until I spoke with a friend who actually lives that way.
So now the question remains: what do I want to do? I can tell you a few things I don't want to do: I don't want to go to Asia. I don't want to go to South Africa alone. I don't want to spend all that money and time on a cruise to Antarctica without even knowing if I like cruises. What I want is to go to Disneyworld. I want to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and I want to see London covered in snow on my birthday. I want to make music videos and movie trailers and I want to write stories that stir something in people.
I want to have a YouTube channel and not worry about people I know IRL teasing me for it. I want to eat the cookie and not worry about caloric content (that one will take time) and I don't want to answer phone calls for a living. I want to be proud of the work I do. I don't want carpel tunnel and if I must have it I want to aquire it writing the next Chronicles of Narnia, not stuffing envelopes. I want to quit wasting away my time in a mediocre life waiting around for the extraordinary one to come.
Steve Jobs once said, "Every morning I look in the mirror and I ask myself, if today was my last day on Earth, would I want to spend it the way I intend to spend today? If the answer is 'no' too many days in a row, I know something needs to change". Well, then it looks like it's time for a change.